A song about heartbreak written after the songwriter took time to compose themselves first would be... probably bland. I'm a creative at night but a "professional" by day, and I've definitely noticed that the composure that carries my day to day has quietly bland-ified my art
What an amazing example! That didn't even enter my mind as I was writing this piece, but wow are you spot on it hurts. Actually can't think of any art that has stayed with me for a while that was created from outside of the experience, as an observation.
I feel I am headed to this same dual-life. Do you have any advice to share how to not get caught in the bland-blender?
Agreed, and I think that's what I try to remind myself whenever I find myself trying to over-polish a creative work. I wish I had clear cut advice but I think what you wrote is the way: micro dose moments of being in the moment and being vulnerable, prioritize consuming and creating art (because it forces breaking the patterns from daily professionalism), and cut yourself some slack :) I think rigidity around trying to be more balanced comes from the same rigidity that got us here in the first place!
You said it on LinkedIn, but asking questions (not even just hard questions) truly felt like it was frowned upon and people responded like you were trying to create an issue, out of just trying to get clarity (also coming from the big G).
This was fabulous, really. To less nonchalance. <3
This. Being labeled "emotional" has become the highest insult and is frequently a reason to dismiss people both professionally and in personal life. We are still supposed to be passionate though. Just have to make sure its the right kind of comfortable, detached, stoic passion I guess :)
Taking it well is unpaid labor HIT - I've been thinking a lot lately about how the idea that we should be unemotional at work is a way to keep us distracted by our own shame and focused on someone else's bottom line. Great piece!
“The stoic philosophy gets marketed as inner freedom but it functions as compliance with a sexier label.” - this and so much of this article resonates with me - thank you for sharing!!! See what I did with the exclamation points ;)
This reminds me of advice I received when I was in an existentialist crisis. That things matter and are important only if you think that they matter, and I think that only occurs when you shrug off the cringe of being nonchalant and opt to care deeply about the things that bring you joy in the world. Thanks for the reminder!
Corporate stoicism borrowed the vocabulary because it made the demand sound like wisdom, which isn't quite what Epictetus was after. Though the effect on you is identical either way, so I'm not sure the distinction is worth much.
I wonder if the opposite of "don't take it personally" isn't "take it personally," but "allow yourself to be genuinely affected." Feeling something doesn't require making everything about yourself. It simply means refusing to become emotionally absent from your own life.
I can definitely relate to this. I'm slowly learning that the "applauded indifference" that was so valued in tech doesn't carry the same currency in creative work, but leaning into that vulnerability is tough!
A song about heartbreak written after the songwriter took time to compose themselves first would be... probably bland. I'm a creative at night but a "professional" by day, and I've definitely noticed that the composure that carries my day to day has quietly bland-ified my art
What an amazing example! That didn't even enter my mind as I was writing this piece, but wow are you spot on it hurts. Actually can't think of any art that has stayed with me for a while that was created from outside of the experience, as an observation.
I feel I am headed to this same dual-life. Do you have any advice to share how to not get caught in the bland-blender?
Agreed, and I think that's what I try to remind myself whenever I find myself trying to over-polish a creative work. I wish I had clear cut advice but I think what you wrote is the way: micro dose moments of being in the moment and being vulnerable, prioritize consuming and creating art (because it forces breaking the patterns from daily professionalism), and cut yourself some slack :) I think rigidity around trying to be more balanced comes from the same rigidity that got us here in the first place!
<3 <3 <3
You said it on LinkedIn, but asking questions (not even just hard questions) truly felt like it was frowned upon and people responded like you were trying to create an issue, out of just trying to get clarity (also coming from the big G).
This was fabulous, really. To less nonchalance. <3
This. Being labeled "emotional" has become the highest insult and is frequently a reason to dismiss people both professionally and in personal life. We are still supposed to be passionate though. Just have to make sure its the right kind of comfortable, detached, stoic passion I guess :)
Completely - time to reclaim emotional as a good thing. Yes we feel emotions proportionate to the scenario we are experiencing what about it!?
Taking it well is unpaid labor HIT - I've been thinking a lot lately about how the idea that we should be unemotional at work is a way to keep us distracted by our own shame and focused on someone else's bottom line. Great piece!
“The stoic philosophy gets marketed as inner freedom but it functions as compliance with a sexier label.” - this and so much of this article resonates with me - thank you for sharing!!! See what I did with the exclamation points ;)
“Taking it well is unpaid labor” is so incredibly true. Taking it well becomes the expectation while you slowly lose yourself. Great read, Kira.
This reminds me of advice I received when I was in an existentialist crisis. That things matter and are important only if you think that they matter, and I think that only occurs when you shrug off the cringe of being nonchalant and opt to care deeply about the things that bring you joy in the world. Thanks for the reminder!
God this is so good, thank you for writing it.
Corporate stoicism borrowed the vocabulary because it made the demand sound like wisdom, which isn't quite what Epictetus was after. Though the effect on you is identical either way, so I'm not sure the distinction is worth much.
I wonder if the opposite of "don't take it personally" isn't "take it personally," but "allow yourself to be genuinely affected." Feeling something doesn't require making everything about yourself. It simply means refusing to become emotionally absent from your own life.
I can definitely relate to this. I'm slowly learning that the "applauded indifference" that was so valued in tech doesn't carry the same currency in creative work, but leaning into that vulnerability is tough!